Ok having the drain out was not as bad as I thought.  Now redressed until I see the consultant next week.  Both my boys are out and I am home alone.  Hubby has gone back to work, my son has gone to collect his new car and then going to his girlfriend's for new year's eve.  

I decided to try wearing a bra yesterday, might have been a bit soon, as I am still a little swollen, it was sore after a while.  We had visitors last night and had a lovely lunch out yesterday with my hubby, son and daughter, not something we do very often anymore.  

Have visitors again later today, don't think I will be staying up to see the new year in this year, not alot of point for just the two of us, but next year! There's going to be a party!

Good riddance drain

Well today is the day that the drain comes out.  It has been uncomfortable and stinging a bit but it is apparently going to hurt a bit to remove.  Oh well I will have to suck it up because I can't wait to be rid of it.  I had the most wonderful visit today from a friend who had taken time out to bake and decorate me a beautiful cake too.  It was super to see her, gave me a real lift, but she had also sent me several text messages to lift me too, while she was unable to visit for any reason, it was Christmas after all and there had been a bit of poorliness in her house which she didn't want to share.  Bless her she missed me and couldn't bear to be out of touch.  I am truly grateful to have friends like her.  The weather here is pants, but hubby and son are supposed to going and looking at a car, I think I said earlier in the week that my son's car has been breaking down.  I am going to struggle with the fact that I am unable to drive if he can't take me anywhere either.  I am looking forward to more visits over the next day or so.  I have to go and get washed and dressed ready for the hospital, as for the first time since I got home from hospital I didn't sleep well last night and so then overslept this morning. Argghhh! Will let you know how the hospital goes.  

mastectomy at last

Well I had my mastectomy on Monday, first on list, which surprised me as I was booked in to stay overnight and apparently they do day cases first.  I had a laugh or two with the anaesthetist and nurses before I went under and was back out of theatre by just after 11.  After a few sips of water and an assisted first wee, I was driven back to the ward to a little side room, which I thought was great to begin with, then I decided it was actually a little lonely.   I was able to walk to the toilets, accompanied to begin with.  I was brought a lunch of chilli followed by a lovely pud of sticky toffee pudding and lashing of custard.  I was so pleased when the other half was finally allowed up to see me (so was he!).  Unfortunately my son broke down on his way to visit and then the weather turned really bad and it took the other half more than twice the normal time to get home so I wouldn't let him visit in the evening, which left me feeling rather blue.  Thankfully my daughter lives in Taunton just a mile or so from the hospital so I wasn't forlorn for long.  It was a traumatic night, what with the weather and the activity on the ward, all in all I think I managed about 2 or 3 hours sleep.  I was really pleased when the surgeon arrived at 8.30 am and said I was fit to go home.  What a Christmas present that was!  I didn't get home quite as early as I would have liked after messing about with Dr's letters and medication.  I think I have slept on and off through the last few days, and today I don't think I made the wisest food choice as I have some discomfort around my liver area.  I can't wait for the drain to come out on Monday, and the healing to progress so that I can get on to the next lot of chemotherapy to reduce the cancer in the liver.  I am not however looking forward to hubby going back to work, and then my son soon after.  My gorgeous daughter has been staying, her new hubby has lent her to me, in case I need her for personal things, and to keep me company if the boys go out.  The puppy has been so good, and gentle with me, just climbing up for cuddles and not jumping up.  She is such a good girl.  Well I will let you all know how the drain removal goes on Monday, and keep you up to date with the healing process.  My time-line begins here, mastectomy, chemo, shrink the liver, remove the cancer (liver resection) and then ... ? I know what I want for my family and me next Christmas a little something that begins with r ...

Christmas 2013

Well here we go! Whatever isn't done for Christmas now isn't happening.  I have to be in the surgical admissions lounge for 7.30 tomorrow morning, just plain rude for the first day of the holiday.  I won't be first on the list as I am already booked to stay the night.  Day surgery cases have priority.  I have been wanting them to do this ever since I was first diagnosed 2 years and 4 months ago.  Now it is here I am obviously feeling nervous.  I am just hoping that the surgeon is right and I can go home on Christmas Eve.  I have continued to work this week, and went out with friends last night.  Am really starting to struggle now, am exhausted, may have over done it a little this last week or so.  Will post again when it is all done, and I am one boob and some of my cancer missing.  Hopefully whatever chemo I start in the new year will be effective on the metastasis in the liver, and I will live with this, (or preferably without it) for many years.

Signing off for now, when we next speak I will be slightly less of my former self.

Neglected blog

Eek, I didn't realise it had been 18 months since my last blog.  I felt that all I was doing was moaning so I gave it a bit of a break.  As a result I have so much now to fill you all in on.  I have now had 6 different treatments in the search for one that will give me both quality of life and some reduction in the cancer.

Currently the breast is totally engorged, with tumour and fluid, to such an amount that the skin has split and there is fluid oozing off.  The positive side of this is that they have finally allowed me to see a breast surgeon who has agreed to me having a mastectomy.  The timing isn't the best as it is two days before Christmas, he has assured me I will go home on Christmas Eve, but it leaves my poor hubby to have to do Christmas dinner.  This is now the third Christmas that has not gone to plan; the first one was my initial diagnosis and the first treatment failing, the second we were supposed to be moving house, unfortunately the chain fell apart several times and we finally moved in March of this year.  I was so looking forward to our first Christmas in the new house, it will still be good (as long as I get out of hospital on time) but again not quite what I planned.  Ah well there is always next year.  At the moment I am in quite a lot of pain with the size of the breast and the broken skin.  Hopefully after next week the pain will at least be productive, healing.  It does mean that the next lot of chemotherapy will have to be delayed which means that the metastasis in the liver will be untreated for a while.  But my logic says that once the primary cancer is gone any treatment will be more effective on the remaining metastasis, maybe later in the year we may be able to consider a liver resection - and remission!  I mustn't count my chickens but the fact that they are finally getting rid of the breast makes me feel a little more positive.

So as I said since I last blogged we have moved house, I love where it is and I wish we had been in a position to move much sooner.  It has also enabled me to have the puppy I have always wanted, she is a cross between a labrador and a labradoodle, she just looks like a beautiful lab.  I have also graduated my foundation degree, although I didn't actually attend my graduation, I wasn't sure where I would be with treatment.  One of my fantastic fellow students made me a cap and gown and gave me my very own personal graduation in front of my fellow students at a taught session for our honours year.

Cancer you can do one!! I am a strong woman and a fighter, I will get my remission one day!