New baby

I learned today that a very good friend of mine gave birth to her second baby girl in the early hours of this morning.  It started me thinking, my own grandchildren will have two choices, either they will grow up always knowing that Nanna has cancer, is that any life for children, it has been awful for me watching my own teenagers living with knowing their mum has it, and that it is incurable, or they will grow up only knowing me from photos and stories as I did with my own grandparents.  It seems very much like Hobson's choice to me.  As far as I am concerned of course I want to know them but I don't know if I can cope with the thought that they might know me and lose me.  What do you think is worse?  I would love to know. x