A meet up with an old friend

I caught up with an old friend yesterday, we used to live near each other, she was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.  She is a nanna, with another grandchild on the way, it made me realise that I am half way through the longest time that was suggested to me.  That gives me the chance to be there for both my children's 21st birthdays, and my son's girlfriend's 21st birthday.  It doesn't give me the chance to be the nanna I want to be, I want to be able to take my grandchildren to pre-school and school and see them achieve their exams and be happy.  At 43 I should be able to plan for that.  We will see what happens with this treatment. I have pains around my liver from time to time, it was almost constant but now it is more rarely, hopefully that means the treatment is effective.  We will see, the trouble is their idea at the hospital of it being effective is it being ongoing.  That would mean me being tied to the hospital two weeks out of every three.  That will make going back to work difficult and making any other plans difficult too.  My motivation for uni is dwindling, I have two weeks to write an assignment of around 3000 words on ... you have guessed it motivation.  I think I will have to put another mitigating circumstance form in.  I hate that because it feels like admitting defeat.