A difficult time

I have cried myself to sleep the last two night, well I say sleep!  All of a sudden I am finding everything difficult.  The fact that this treatment might never end, the fact that I feel uncomfortable, I get tired  just going to the car.  What is the point of arranging something good to look forward to if I won't enjoy it because I am too tired, and how can I afford it when I am bankrupting myself with all the trips to the hospital and the parking.  While other people moan about their finances but still manage to go off on holiday.  Our last proper week away was pre diagnosis, I know that we have had a few short breaks but even they are a struggle.  I could really use a break somewhere warm with a book to recharge my batteries.  
I am also really struggling with just being at home, my lovely girlies come down from school in their lunch break a couple of days a week, but when I am on my own, I am starting to struggle with being positive.  I used to be so good at it, but I am starting to spend too much time on my own I think.  I am no good at asking people to visit because I find it difficult to cope if they are too busy.  I need them to text or ring me and see if I am free.  I have a couple of friends who are very good at it thank goodness, but could do with a few more.  
I have been positive for so long, so I don't understand why this isn't getting any better.  I am hoping to go out with my gorgeous daughter at the weekend, I hope I am up to it, would hate to disappoint her, or me.  We will have to see.